Into the last month of the year and it’s not been a bad
one for Dad...a few dramas but good, slow progress continues to be made.
Let’s get the drama out of the way first. Following on from Mum’s smack to the head by
a ‘service user’ (patient to you and me) last month, Dad’s now been attacked by a different service user – twice. On both occasions Dad was sitting in the
dining area.
In the first attack, the service
user had been complaining about his dessert, Dad innocently asked ‘What’s he
moaning about now’ and that’s when the service user wheeled himself over to Dad
and punched him in the back - a carer tried to intervene. We were advised that the service user would
be eating his meals downstairs in future to prevent any further incident occurring. So we were shocked to walk in to JC last
Sunday to hear that Dad had been attacked again by the same person during his
lunch. Dad was upset when Mum and Dan arrived half an hour after the attack happened, so it was still in Dad's short term memory – saying ‘They don’t like me
here, they keep pushing me around’ – distressing for us all. It transpires that Dad had been tapping his
spoon on the table – not happy with the noise, the said service user wheeled
himself behind Dad again, punched him in the neck twice and picked up a dinner
knife to attack Dad with...thankfully a carer managed to prevent him following
through with it.
As you can imagine we were absolutely distraught,
especially as we had been advised that measures had been put in place after the first attack to
prevent it from happening again. The police
were called, but Dan explained that we were not going to press charges – Dad is
not in a position to give a statement and go to court. The next day after speaking to the managers
we were advised that the service user had been moved to a suite on the first
floor (!) and he would only be able to go on to the ground floor where Dad is based, with
supervision. Another complaint therefore
followed later this week when the unsupervised
service user freely wheeled himself past Mum and Dad who were sitting alone in
the quiet lounge, and proceeded to tell Mum he had been banned from the
floor. Not easy is it...?
On to the important news - Dad’s progress over the last
couple of weeks. We've been able to take
Dad out in his wheelchair for a couple of walks around the block; this is the Black Country so
there are lots of hills! It’s hard work
pushing Dad up hill, and just as bad trying to prevent the wheelchair from
freewheeling going downhill. It’s about
a half hour walk, and Dad’s really enjoyed being out – ‘Feel that bitter chill
in the air’ he says, ‘Oh that’s nice the warmth of the sun on my face’. He always shows concern for who’s pushing –
asking if we are OK. We've sat and
watched Football Focus on a Saturday morning together too, Dad telling the
Nurse ‘I’m watching Football Focus’ when she asked what he was watching! He asked about the Joey Barton story that was
being covered and laughed when I explained about his French accent. That was a good day.
We didn't want Dad to miss out on his grandson’s sixth
birthday so we all went to see Dad on Oliver’s birthday and enjoyed a McDonald's round the table! Dad was able to give
Oliver his birthday present in person.
It was special to be together as a family and see Dad smiling and
laughing.
Dad has now experienced about 35 sessions of physio since
he has been at JC. We told Dad
how we look back on his first session and how proud we were that he was able to
stand up. Now 14 weeks on, we tell him he is amazing that he is able to walk a
good few metres with support and a walking stick. ‘You’re a legend Dad and we are so proud of
you’ I tell him – ‘I’m not a legend’ he responds ‘I’m just an ordinary man’. It’s been lovely over the last couple of
weeks that several of Dad’s family and friends have been able to witness him
hard at work in the gym. It must be so
encouraging for them to see Dad progressing physically with their own eyes. It is heartening and motivating for him
to have people supporting him - we can
see how hard he works and how much effort he puts in.
The FES – Functional Electrical Stimulation –
device has been helping Dad wonders with both his hand and foot movement. This should help
retrain the brain to understand what it should be doing to move Dad’s limbs. The device is hand held (see picture) and
pads with wires attached to the device are stuck to Dad’s leg or arm. The electrical pulses stimulate the muscles which lift the foot, or open the hand, doing the job of the nerve. All good
progress.
Dad had a second home visit arranged for this week –
typical it was pouring with rain, just as it was on the first visit, but we
coped. Instead of using the ramp to push
him into the house, Dad’s physiotherapist got him to walk up the step and into the house himself. Once inside, he
paused sitting on the wheelchair, before finding the strength to continue walking
to his chair – his reward, a comfy sit down on his throne. I call it his throne – as his chair has been
raised on lifters, which makes it rather high. It suited Dad though, and we can
always make it lower as Dad improves.
Once again Dad was so relieved to be back. He asked if the toilet was upstairs – well remembered
Dad. He looked at ease and nodded off
straight away. But not for long – the physiotherapist
wanted Dad to practice walking in the house.
She got him to walk to the other end of the room, to his new NHS
commode, and back again – with a rest on the commode in between. I have to say it was the best walking I have
seen Dad do since he had his stroke. His
leg without the FES device and new brace (we’re still waiting for it) was still
shaking and he needed support from the physiotherapist, but he was able to
place it really well – it shows the FES stimulator is working. Mum had cooked Dad his dinner, and he told
her it was good to be eating her food again.
When asked back at JC later that day if he’d enjoyed Wendy’s
cooking – he joked ‘Well, I’m still alive’!
Once again we experienced some emotions when it was time
for Dad to go back to JC. He got angry
and started swearing – even deliberately clonking me round the head when we
were trying to get his coat on. But he’ll
be back soon. Hopefully we shall have
him home for Christmas Day, and soon after for an overnight stay – although we need to
get the NHS bed delivered first.
Dad appreciates all that everyone is doing for him and we
appreciate all the support too.
Yesterday after a really positive day, Dad broke down at
the table and started sobbing out of the blue. I gave
him a big hug and asked why he was crying, he finally said ‘Because some people
are on their own and they don’t have families to love and support them like I
do’. That was a moment.
It’s been a tough year for our family – a year where I've finally had to
grow up or certainly ‘man up’, but we are aware we are not alone and that there are many families going
through difficult periods all the time. We thank each and every one of you for
reading this blog, for keeping in touch and showing your support and for all
those who were involved with the Charity Day at Halesowen Golf Club in October.
We wish you and
your families a very special and enjoyable time this Christmas. I will
be counting my blessings and thinking how lucky I am to have both my Mum and
Dad with me again for Christmas...if all goes to plan...! Wishing you all love, laughter and good
health for the New Year. As always –
thank you for reading, for hoping and believing...
Love you Dad x
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| Dad with his grandchildren 1-12-12 |
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| Oliver's 6th Birthday 7-12-12 |
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| Walking at home 14-12-12 |
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| Dad on his 'throne' 14-12-12 |
